There were a few reasons David and I never fully walked into the patriarchal camp. One of those reasons was the fact that it was obvious to both of us that I did not need a man to walk faithfully with God. I was 29 when we met and married. I had a rich faith history of my own. I had already experienced God working mightily in my spiritual life numerous times. Although my parents had a role in my faith, they were not the arbiters of it. And although they supported me in my faith journey, my journey was my own.
Because of my walk with God, it made no sense to either of us that suddenly my faith had to go through my husband. I did not need a covering. I did not need a man to wash me with the water of the word (as the men at David’s dysfunctional church told him he needed to do as well as get me in line to submit while we were engaged). One of the things David loved about me when he met me was my vibrant faith and my history with God. He believed strongly it was insulting to think that just because he was a man he could somehow do better than God had done with me all those years.
Wade Burleson preached a tremendous sermon on Hebrews 11:12-12 on e-church at Wartburg. He looks at Sarah’s faith and what it accomplished in her life. I encourage you to listen to the entire sermon, especially if you believe your faith in God is dependent on anyone other than you whether it be a father, a husband or a church leader.
This sermon brings out some of the concerns I have about men being seen as the prophet, priest and king of their home. I think it is tragic when young women think that they are dependent on their father for their faith and then their husband if they marry. A woman’s faith is her own.